I Know I Can Be Difficult but I Love You

Have you ever thought about what makes someone unloveable? Do y'all find it hard to love the difficult person in your life? Mayhap they are unkind, decision-making, annoying, or don't like other people.

On the flip side, what makes a person loveable? Is information technology the things they do or say? Does it matter how friendly, sweet, or fun they are? Maybe information technology'southward how much they love other people?

It sometimes seems like the people who like us well-nigh are the easiest to love. The thing is, our brains get dislocated. Here is a little secret. What makes someone loveable is that you choose to love them. It has nothing to do with who you love but your capacity or ability to dearest other people.

One of the great things nigh life is nosotros get to have dissimilar opinions and preferences, and nosotros're blessed with various capacities and experiences all affecting how we view other people.

I thought information technology would be fun to glean from the wisdom of some of my blogger friends. So I asked them: How exercise you choose to love the difficult people in your life? I appreciated their honesty and insight — and I'one thousand sure yous will besides!

This mail is a long post. So take a second and pivot it to your relationship, mental health, or dear Pinterest board now. This will allow you to come up back to go a refresher on your favorite pieces of advice.

Janeen Alley | Vibrant Wellness

We all have opportunities to love others who are difficult.

I become information technology. I've had family unit members decide they don't like me and are fine if they never talk to me.  Ever. And I've been flipped off numerous times by strangers.

And it's all skillful.  Information technology really is.

I don't think returning hate for hate is the answer.  Aye, it spreads detest, but the bigger reason for me is selfish.  When I reply with hatred, I feel horrible! When I am thinking or feeling negative things about someone else, I am the 1 who feels terrible.  I endure. Here'due south the great news: I know I can opt-out of that emotion.

I know I can decide to honey instead. Information technology makes me feel so expert.

I'd rather do the piece of work to choose dear than giving in to my knee-jerk reaction to become defensive, offended, or judgemental.  When I am reactive, I become disempowered.

Unconditional love comes from a decision.  Sometimes we have to decide over and over. It'southward similar forgiveness.  Sometimes we have to forgive the same person over and over again. And that is okay.

Information technology makes it easier to love others when nosotros choose to love ourselves first.  All of us. Our mistakes, our extra weight, our brusque-comings. The whole package.  If we accept trouble loving ourselves or requite ourselves the benefit of the doubt, nosotros struggle to do the same for others.  When we cut ourselves some slack, accept our flaws and imperfections, we tin easily see when others are "practicing" or trying their best.

We can change our entire lives by noticing our thoughts and emotions.  By becoming aware of what nosotros are thinking and feeling, we can start to change.

And when we modify our thoughts, we alter our lives.

It's a simple formula.  Easy? Not for me. I imagine it's a life long piece of work: to consciously choose to love and let become.  It's okay. I'm totally game because I know I'yard the one who wins.

Cary Mac Arthur | Dare to Detect Your V*O*I*C*Eastward

I don't choose to come across people equally "toxic" or difficult, that doesn't mean toxic relationships don't exist. I know relationships can be difficult.  In my experience, however, whenever I focus on the other person being "difficult," I'g giving that person a portion of my power to exist happy.

I prefer not to lose some of my power to the idea someone is trying to brand my life difficult. The truth is, the "difficulty" commonly comes from the stories I tell myself near the other person's behavior, from a conventionalities that they intended to hurt me. I never tin really know anyone else's intentions, and then why does information technology do good me to focus on the idea that anybody is trying to injure me—even if they are?

Here'due south my way of looking at information technology.

A human relationship involves more than the other person— it also includes me. The but person I take control over is myself.

The law of vibration states that I attract who I am beingness. So I take learned to enquire myself "what do I want from my relationships?" and and then I turn my focus inward and await for those things within myself. In other words, I run across means to strengthen my relationship with myself.

Sometimes this means I intentionally distance myself from the other person to focus less on the difficulty and more on how I want to feel. Other times, the distance happens naturally because I attract who I am being, and sometimes the relationship is strengthened merely because the focus inverse.

I love to look at other people not equally having an intention to injure me simply equally doing the all-time they tin with what they have. I know I wouldn't desire anyone to consider me every bit difficult or toxic, and I honestly believe (and I know there are exceptions to every rule) it'south non my job to judge whether or not someone has bad intentions toward me. My chore is to nurture the good in myself and to wait for the skillful in others~and what I focus on, I discover.

Kim Milius | Kim at Home

A long time agone, when I was getting frustrated past bad choices other drivers made on the road, I had a idea take root in my mind to aid keep me from getting angry.  I realized sometimes I make mistakes while driving too. I would want others to forgive me when I mess upward, and so I try to do the same.

I piece of work to remember we are all doing our best.  Applying this principle, to life in general, means when someone is hurtful or challenging to get along with, I have a footstep back and realize they are doing the best they tin with the tools they've been given — just like the rest of us.

Melanie Phillips | Melanie'southward Library & Teach Me To Walk in the Light

The key to dealing with difficult people in my life, I take learned, is to make sure I don't mirror that person. Don't judge them because they judge me, don't criticize them for criticizing me, or be mad at them because they're mad at me. It comes downward to realizing the one affair they don't have control of is my feelings, I do.

Harboring anger towards someone is but punishing myself for someone else'due south mistakes. Information technology does no good. I've as well learned you tin love someone who doesn't love you lot back and there'south zero they tin practise almost it 😉 Learning how to return honey for hate is the hardest affair anyone can practise, simply it feels so much amend.

Jen Schultz | Midday Mornings

The matter that has helped me dear difficult people the nigh is learning to beloved myself better. I recollect a lot of people have heard – in some way, shape, or form – the admonition to "dearest thy neighbor as thyself." Well, if you don't love "thyself" very well, information technology can be that much more challenging to love a person who is already challenging to love.

Knowing, truly knowing, I'one thousand worth respect, dear, and compassion permit me to create healthier boundaries with people who tend non to give those things. Those healthier boundaries tin create less time with that individual or just different kind of fourth dimension with him/her.

I think that this concept of loving ourselves and finding the right boundary for each relationship in our lives is a process, a journey. Yous're going to make mistakes – we all practise. But people who are worth keeping around are those who will piece of work with y'all to stick around.

Michele Tripple | Confessions of Parenting

We meet difficult people in our lives for various reasons. Mayhap it is the lady who cutting in front end of united states at the pickup line or the human who offended us by questioning why you have so many kids. We can either allow these situations to run our lives or cull to view them differently.

One style I accept decided to overcome difficult circumstances and love more is by giving others the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps the lady who cut in front of yous in line is picking up kids for a friend. Helping her friend is going to make her late to her doctor's appointment. Or the man who questioned you for having and so many kids — mayhap he never experienced the joy of parenting because his wife died at an early on age leaving him a widower.

Nosotros never really know what is going on in someone's life. Or why people are sometimes challenging to exist effectually.  When we give others the benefit of the doubt information technology makes it so much easier to beloved them.

Jennifer Wise | Life Tales Books & Personal Publishing

When I'1000 dealing with someone, and it feels similar we're looking at each other over a chasm, I have to retrieve my cease goal is dear.  Learning to deal with a person is non the aforementioned as learning to love a person.

I work to empathize his/her personality, and I work to brand sure my thoughts and expectations are serving me well, but the goal is beloved.  Honey is what will make the differences betwixt u.s. unimportant. Beloved is the magic eraser.

How Do You Love the Difficult Person in Your Life?

Pretty peachy responses, right? Then as you lot were reading was in that location a challenging person who came to mind?

What would yous say, or think about this person? If you were to requite a 1-sentence summary, what would it be? What makes it most challenging to love them? What denies or blocks feelings of dear?

Here's a news flash for you — Every homo is 100% loveable precisely equally they are. The truth is it has nothing to do with them and everything to exercise with your power to love. You get to choose.

Information technology's interesting how our brains are experts when it comes to noticing what we don't like; they are then good at pointing out words, actions, and opinions to make a person seem difficult.

When nosotros allow those thoughts to generate negative emotions it doesn't feel good. We automatically assume information technology is the person who is making us feel bad when it's really our thoughts about the person.

The affair is, none of those emotions feel good.

When we think negative thoughts almost another person it doesn't punish them or make them want to change; in fact, they are ofttimes unaware of what is even going through your mind. No, we mostly punish our self when we experience those feelings.

Letting Get

Love is non a one and washed kind of deal — love them and check off the box. What it comes down to is a continuous work of letting go of the negative thoughts and embracing the practiced within them.

End believing this person should be different than they are and cull to love them because dear always feels better.

Ane final thing to remember. When nosotros choose to love someone it doesn't mean you don't protect yourself from them. Loving doesn't hateful nosotros corroborate or condone their beliefs. We tin't change someone and make them different than they are. We can just love them for the proficient we choose to encounter.

Leave a annotate virtually how you've called to love a hard person in your life?

Like it? Pin information technology!

Yous might also enjoy these:

• Learning to Honey Unconditionally
• How to Support a Loved 1 with Depression
• Responding to Your Circumstances
• How Practice You Feel God's Love?

How to Love the Difficult Person in Your Life

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Source: https://www.choosingwisdom.org/how-love-the-difficult-person-in-your-life/

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